Compassion Meditation: A Step-by-Step Guide

Cultivating compassion is a way for us to feel less alone in our suffering. Compassion meditation allows us to do this.

The Dalai Lama once said, "If you want others to be happy, practise compassion. If you want to be happy, practise compassion."

When we’re recovering from addiction, we can be so hard on ourselves. Developing compassion is a powerful way for us to release weight we’ve been putting on ourselves, to let go of guilt, and to release feelings of self-judgment.

By practising compassion meditation, we not only develop compassion for others, but we develop compassion for ourselves, too.

What Is Compassion Meditation?

According to Oxford Languages, compassion is the “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others [1].”

Compassion meditation is a unique form of meditation that places a focus on alleviating suffering for all beings. This form of meditation has its roots in Buddhist practises, and is also known as karuna meditation.

Compassion meditation isn’t about trying to clear the mind, but rather encourages us to focus our energy towards sending compassion to those we know, those we don’t know, and to ourselves. We can use this form of meditation to connect with suffering, as well as the compassion that exists within all of us.

You may be wondering why you would want to come face to face with the reality of suffering, which is the passage towards compassion. Going through addiction recovery is difficult enough, so why make it more difficult by addressing the suffering of others, right?

Actually, looking at the suffering of others and cultivating awareness of this actually helps us improve feelings of wellbeing. When we raise our awareness, we realise that we’re not alone in our own feelings of suffering. Addiction can be an isolating disease, and it makes a world of difference to know that we’re not suffering in solitude.

Also, by facing suffering head-on, we take away its power. A lot of the pain that comes from suffering comes from resistance towards circumstances that cause us pain. When we learn to accept and surrender rather than resist, it promotes healing and guides us toward peace and increased wellbeing.

The Importance of Compassion Towards Ourselves In Addiction Recovery

When going through recovery from addiction, we can be hard on ourselves - there’s no way around it. We often beat ourselves up for things we have done in the past or choices we’ve made. We struggle with cravings, and have to learn how to deal with difficult emotions.

Learning how to be compassionate with compassion meditation helps give us grace towards ourselves, and puts us in a completely different space internally. Self-compassion helps us release guilt and regret. It helps release self-judgment and helps us feel lighter. It helps us move on!

Lack of compassion towards ourselves can cause difficulty in coping with negative emotional states. For instance, if we feel hurt or sad, having compassion allows us to accept ourselves for feeling those emotions, instead of judging ourselves. This is so important because negative emotional states can lead to drug and alcohol abuse.

Loving Kindness Meditation and Compassion Meditation

If compassion meditation sounds familiar to you, it may be because you’ve also heard of loving-kindness meditation. Both of these forms of meditation aim to increase positive emotional states towards others and ourselves.

However, loving-kindness meditation is more about giving unconditional, selfless love to others and ourselves. The contrast is that compassion meditation is more about understanding suffering, and wanting to alleviate that suffering in ourselves and others. Compassion meditation helps us to feel less isolated and alone.

Tonglen Meditation

A variation of compassion meditation is called tonglen meditation. In this form of compassion meditation, we inhale the suffering of others and transmute it into something peaceful by exhaling compassion towards others. Many people practise this in waking life, rather than solely as a formal meditation practise.

Let’s say, for instance, you’re at your work office and you witness your boss degrading one of your coworkers. If you were to practise tonglen meditation, you would visualise your coworker’s suffering as a dark, gray cloud hanging over them. You would then inhale the cloud, and visualise it turning into a bright, white light of compassion. You would then send that compassion back outward towards your coworker with this form of compassion meditation.

This practise can be overwhelming for some, so only try this if you feel comfortable and ready to. If the thought of absorbing a dark gray cloud feels too intense, you can visualise the cloud of suffering as being a different color, such as blue, or something that feels less intimidating [2].

The Benefits of Compassion Meditation

Practising compassion meditation can offer significant benefits for the brain, the body, and the spirit.

A study conducted in 2017 showed that participants who practised compassion meditation had 51% less cortisol the stress hormone, than participants who practised the other forms of meditation [3].

Further research has indicated that practising compassion meditation on a consistent basis has been able to reduce chronic pain and migraines in study participants [3].

The effects of compassion are so profound that it has been channeled into a form of therapy called compassion focused therapy, or CFT.

Below are a few more of the impactful benefits of regularly practising compassion meditation.

Benefits of Compassion Meditation:

• Increased compassion and altruism
• Stress reduction
• Alleviated symptoms of depression
• Increased empathy and emotional intelligence
• Can help improve negative body image
• Improved relationships
• Help reduce social anxiety
• Reduction of PTSD symptoms
• Increased focused
• A calmer mind [3][4][5][6]

Step-by-step Compassion Meditation for Beginners

Ready to try compassion meditation for yourself? Follow the step-by-step outline below to get started.

This meditation is adapted from a compassion meditation practise presented by Berkeley University [7].

1. Get comfortable. Find a space where you will be uninterrupted, and get into a seated position. You can also lay down when performing compassion meditation. Be sure to remove any distractions.
2. Relax. Take a few deep breaths. Breathe inward slowly and deeply, hold your breath, and then slowly and gently exhale. Again, breathe inward, hold your breath, and then gently exhale. Take several long, deep breaths until you begin to feel a sense of calm.

Sending Compassion to Someone You Love

1. Picture someone who you love. Visualise this person standing before you, and notice what this love feels like. Does your heart feel full? Do you feel a sense of warmth? Do you notice a sense of openness? Simply notice the sensations that arise.
2. Think of the sorrows they have experienced. Gently guide your awareness towards suffering this person has experienced. Maybe recall a time where they experienced an illness or injury, or a rough patch in a relationship. Notice how you feel when you think of their suffering. Do you still feel warmth and openness? Does anything feel heavy? Perhaps you begin to feel a sense of aching. Simply notice the sensations as they change and arise.
3. Send the person compassion. Next, continue to visualise this person standing before you. Imagine a bright, golden light, emanating from your heart and going towards your loved one. While practising compassion meditation, this golden light is your compassion. Visualise your loved one being covered in this golden light, and absorbing it. As you send them this golden light, feel deeply within your being that you wish for them to be free of their suffering.
4. For one minute, gently repeat the following mantra mindfully:

• May you be free from this suffering.
• I wish you joy and happiness.
• May you be free from this suffering.
• I wish you joy and happiness.

1. Notice how you feel in your heart. Did any of the sensations change? Did new sensations arise? Take some time to gently observe the current feelings and sensations you are experiencing.

Sending Compassion to Yourself

1. Think about a time that you experienced sorrow. Recall a time when you personally experienced suffering. This could be a time from your past, or even something that you are going through presently. Notice how you feel in your heart. Does it feel warm? Do you feel tenseness, heaviness, or aching? It may be difficult at first, but try to simply observe the feelings and sensations that arise.
2. Send yourself compassion. As you continue to breathe, imagine the golden light emanating from you and then washing over you. While practising compassion meditation, this golden light is your compassion. Absorb this golden light of compassion. Feel deeply that you wish to be relieved of your suffering.
3. For two minutes, gently repeat the following mantra mindfully:

• May I be free from this suffering.
• I wish you joy and happiness.
• May I be free from this suffering.
• I wish you joy and happiness.

1. Notice how you feel in your heart. Did the sensations change from when you were envisioning your suffering? Do you feel warmth or gentleness? Do you feel open? Take some time to gently observe the feelings and sensations you are currently experiencing, and how they may have changed.

Sending Compassion to a Neutral Person

1. Think of a neutral person. This can be a neighbor, the postman, an old classmate, or an acquaintance. Although you don’t know them on a personal level, imagine a time where this person may have experienced suffering. Perhaps they experienced a physical illness, have a poor relationship with their family, or just lost their job. Notice how you feel in your heart. Observe if there’s any tenseness, heaviness, or aching.
2. Send the neutral person compassion. Imagine the golden light emanating from your heart and going towards this neutral person. Visualise them being covered in this golden light, and absorbing it. As you send them this golden light, feel deeply within your being that you wish for them to be free of their suffering. Try to see if you can cultivate the same compassion for the neutral person as you were able to cultivate for your loved one.
3. For two minutes, gently repeat the following mantra mindfully:

• May you be free from this suffering
• I wish you happiness and joy
• May you be free from this suffering
• I wish you happiness and joy

1. Notice how you feel in your heart. Did the sensations change from when you were envisioning this person’s suffering? Do you feel warmth or gentleness? Do you feel open? Was it difficult to feel a sense of compassion for this person? Was it easy? Take some time to gently observe the feelings and sensations you are currently experiencing, and how they may have changed.

Sending Compassion to Someone You Have Conflict With

1. Think of someone you have conflict with, or someone you would identify as an “enemy.” This could be an old bully from school, a boss or coworker who you don’t get along with, an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend who you experienced negativity with, or a parent who you don’t get along with. Even though you may not have positive feelings towards this person, think about a time that this person experienced suffering. Just like you, this person wants to be free of suffering and wants to live a happy life. Observe how you feel when you envision this person’s suffering. What sensations arise in your heart? Do you feel gentleness, openness, or warmth? Do you feel a sense of aching? How do the feelings differ from when you envisioned a loved one’s suffering, or your own?
2. Send compassion to the person you have conflict with. Imagine the golden light emanating from your heart and going towards this neutral person. Visualise them being covered in this golden light, and absorbing it. As you send them this golden light, try to cultivate a genuine sense of compassion, and feel within you a desire for them to be free of their suffering. If you find it particularly difficult, try to remember a time where you shared a positive interaction with this person, and then try to send them compassion.
3. For two minutes, gently repeat the following mantra mindfully:

• May you be free from this suffering
• I wish you happiness and joy
• May you be free from this suffering
• I wish you happiness and joy

Notice how you feel in your heart.

Did the sensations change from when you were envisioning this person’s suffering? Was it difficult to feel a sense of compassion for this person? Do you feel warmth in your heart, or do you feel tightness? Take some time to gently observe the feelings and sensations that arise.

Sending Compassion to All Living Beings

Finally, take a minute to send deep compassion to all living beings, including animals, along with the deep desire to relieve them of their suffering. Bask in the warmth, light, and comfort of the feeling of compassion.

Pro-Tips for Practising Compassion Meditation

• When practising compassion meditation, it is important to do so while expecting nothing in return. Though you will certainly reap many benefits from a consistent compassion meditation practise, the ancient Buddhist practise rests on the belief that we should wish the best for others without anticipating anything in return.
• If you find yourself having trouble cultivating compassion for others and yourself with this practise, try doing a loving-kindness meditation practise first. This will help you build a foundation in love and empathy that will make it easier to cultivate genuine compassion.
• It may be best to try this meditation practise when you are already feeling more grounded. If you’re feeling emotionally charged, it may be difficult to face suffering and difficult feelings head-on without having the ability to separate from them.

Sources for Accessing Compassion Meditation

Recoverlution offers many beginner meditation guides for you to check out, from body scan and visualisation meditation to focused and loving-kindness meditation. No matter where you are in your addiction recovery journey, there’s a meditation practise that is perfect for you.

Further types of guided meditations, breath work yoga and proven holistic treatments are within our Wellness Hub, available on subscription. Investing in your wellbeing is part of the recovery journey. After all you are worth it.

Author - Thurga

Read more: How to practice visualisation meditation

References & Sources

1. Oxford English Dictionary - https://www.oed.com/
2. 3 Meditations That Cultivate Compassion - https://chopra.com/articles/3-meditations-that-cultivate-compassion
3. What Is Compassion Meditation? - https://positivepsychology.com/compassion-meditation/
4. Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation: Potential for Psychological Interventions - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3176989/
5. Ultimate Guide to Buddhist Karuna Meditation for Compassion - https://www.thedailymeditation.com/compassion-meditation-karuna-meditation-technique
6. Why Compassion Is Important In Life Right Now - https://www.thedailymeditation.com/importance-compassion-compassionate
7. Compassion Meditation - https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practise/compassion_meditation