Loving-Kindness Meditation For Addiction Recovery
Loving-kindness meditation provides a gateway to self-compassion.
When going through addiction recovery, it is common to experience feelings of guilt or shame for past events, or for circumstances in general.
Self-image is often damaged, and although there is a need to forgive ourselves and release these feelings, this can be easier said than done.
Fortunately, loving-kindness meditation is an alternative form of healing that can help in building up self-esteem and self-worth.
It helps us shift our focus from beating ourselves up, to being kind to ourselves, to loving ourselves and those around us.
What Is Loving-Kindness Meditation?
Loving-kindness meditation is a unique form of meditation which centres around giving unconditional love to ourselves and others.
Rather than focusing on clearing the mind, this meditation practice uses visualisation to send positive feelings, thoughts, compassion, and selfless love to ourselves as well as all living beings.
Traditionally, this meditation uses mantras, or repeated phrases in order to open the heart and send love and kindness to ourselves and others.
Since we can’t truly give love to others if we don't love ourselves first, this form of meditation starts with sending love and grace to ones self. It acts as an easily accessible self-care technique that can be used whenever we find ourselves struggling. It can also help to overcome self-deprecating thoughts.
Practising loving-kindness meditation can help in the amends making process. It can be used it to send love to those we may have wronged or those who have wronged us; practising a sense of forgiveness with nothing expected in return.
Benefits of Loving-Kindness Meditation
There are many benefits to practising loving-kindness meditation, not only for those of us who practise but also for the people we come into contact with in our lives.
Loving-kindness meditation has been shown to increase capacity for empathy, understanding, and compassion for others. In fact, parts of our brain that regulate our capacity for empathy are positively impacted by the consistent practise of this form meditation
The part of our brain which is responsible for our emotional regulation also becomes positively impacted by the meditation practice. Research demonstrates that there is an increase in grey matter in this area of the brain following this type of meditation
Loving-kindness meditation also helps us to decrease rumination. Less rumination means more peace, ease, and calm within.
The benefits of practising loving-kindness meditation:
- Decreases social anxiety
- Fosters self-acceptance and self-love
- Helps to relieve marital conflict
- Decreases negative thinking
- Reduces anger
- Increases resilience
- Improves feelings of goodwill
- Increases positive emotions
- Can improve symptoms of depression
- Helps mitigate feelings of suffering
Step-by-step Loving-Kindness Meditation for Beginners
Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get started with your practise.
This meditation is adapted from two guided meditations, one from Berkeley University and the other from Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.
- Get comfortable. Find a quiet, comfortable place where you will be undisturbed. For this meditation, you can either sit upright in a chair with your feet on the floor, cross-legged on the floor, or lay down on your back. Choose a position that feels most comfortable for you.
- Relax. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it, and gently release the breath through your nose. Once again, take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it, and then exhale through your nose. Allow your mind to quiet as you focus on taking slow, deep breaths.
Receiving Loving-Kindness
Begin this meditation by firstly receiving loving-kindness.
Think of someone who loves you with their entire being.
This can be anyone in your life, whether they are living or have passed on. Someone who loves or loved you unconditionally. This can be someone like a parent or grandparent, mother-figure or father-figure, sibling, or life-long friend. Imagine that this person is standing to the right of you, and that they are sending you the love they feel for you.
If you have trouble thinking of someone, imagine what it would feel like for someone to love you this way. Many of us may not be so fortunate as to have a person in our life who has loved us this way, but that doesn’t mean we are undeserving of this type of love. Imagine the comfort, safety, and warmth that would come from feeling loved like this. Imagine not being judged and being accepted 100% for who you are.
Soak in this feeling.
Open your heart and receive the love from this person. Simply sit in this feeling of warmth and let it spread through your entire being. Let it envelop you. Allow yourself to bathe in unconditional love. Sit with it, absorb it, and truly feel it. During this part of the loving-kindness meditation practise, the key is to really sit in this feeling.
Think of someone else who loves you.
This can be a dear friend, a partner, a sibling, a pet, or anyone in your life who loves you. Imagine this person standing to your left, and sending you the love they feel for you. Open your heart and receive the love that they are sending you. Again, let their love wash over you, and soak in this feeling. If you have spiritual beliefs, you may wish to have spiritual guides of beings by your sides.
Imagine that you are surrounded entirely by those who love you.
Whether they are people who are currently living or who have passed on, you are surrounded entirely by those who love you. Imagine all of the love that they are all sending you, just pouring into you. You are overflowing with love.
Repeat the following mantra:
- May I be safe and protected and free from inner and outer harm
- May I be happy and contented
Continue to repeat these words mindfully, fully feeling the energy of the words in your loving-kindness meditation. Take your time and repeat the mantra at your own pace.
Sending Loving-Kindness to People We Love
1. Gently guide your awareness to the first person or being you thought of.
This is the person standing to your right. You’ll now begin to take the love that is overflowing from you, and send it back to that person. Remember that just like you, this person wants happiness and good health.
Repeat the following mantra mindfully while sending love to this person:
- May you live with ease, may you be happy, may you be free from pain
2. Gently guide your awareness to the next person.
This will be the person standing to your left. Once again, take the love that is overflowing from you, and send it back to that person or being.
Repeat the following mantra mindfully while sending love to this person or being:
- Just as I wish to, may you be safe, may you be healthy, may you live with ease and happiness
3. Gently guide your awareness to the rest of the people around you.
Send them the overflow of love that continues to pour out of you.
Repeat the following mantra mindfully while sending love to these people:
- Just as I wish to, may you also live with ease and happiness
Sending Loving-Kindness to Neutral People
Now think of someone who you have neutral feelings for. This can be someone you work with, a neighbor, or an acquaintance. This should be someone who you don’t hold any specific feelings towards, whether it's positive or negative. Keep in mind that this person is just like you, and hopes to have a happy and healthy life.
Repeat the following mantra mindfully while sending love to this neutral person:
- Just as I wish to, may you also live with ease and happiness
Sending Loving-Kindness meditation to Someone You Have Problems With
Now think of someone who you may have issues with. This can be someone from your present or your past who you have friction with, or who you had a falling out with. Although it may be difficult at first, this is the expansive part of loving-kindness meditation. Try to remember that just like you, this person only hopes for happiness and health. Just like you, this person is a fallible human who has made mistakes. Just like you, this person may make decisions or engage in behaviours that stem from a place of pain.
When you feel ready, and to whatever degree you’re able to, send that person warm wishes by mindfully repeating the following mantra:
- Just as I wish to, may you live with ease, happiness, and good health
Sending Loving-Kindness to All Living Beings
Expand your awareness to all living beings in your home, including any animals. After this, expand your awareness further to your neighborhood, then to your city, then to your state. Then, expand your awareness even further to your country, and then to the entire globe. Imagine the entire globe in front of you, and remember that all living beings on this globe hope for happiness and good health.
Repeat the following mantra mindfully whilst sending warm wishes to all living beings:
- Just as I wish to, may you live with ease, happiness, and good health
Whenever you are ready, take a deep breath in, hold it, and then release it. Again, take a deep breath in, hold it, and then release it. Gently open your eyes.
Pro Tips for Loving-Kindness Meditation
- If your mind begins to wander, simply notice the thoughts that are coming up. Gently watch the thoughts float away and guide your awareness back to the meditation.
- Create your own phrases if you don’t feel connected to the mantras. Using your own words may feel more natural.
- This is a great meditation for beginners as it is a more active form of meditation with visuals to focus on. However, it may be a more difficult form to practise for those who struggle with self love (so it may actually be more necessary!).
- Remember that you are just as deserving of love as any other being.
If you would like to explore more forms of meditation, Recoverlution offers information and guidance on present moment awareness meditation, focused meditation, visualisation meditation, and more! We also have an abundance of guide meditations. breath work, yoga and so much more delivered by qualified professionals within our Wellness hub which you can subscribe to.
Author - Thurga
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Resources
- What is Loving-Kindness Meditation? - https://positivepsychology.com/loving-kindness-meditation/
- Lutz, A., Brefczynski-Lewis, J., Johnstone, T., & Davidson, R. J. (2008). Regulation of the Neural Circuitry of Emotion by Compassion Meditation: Effects of Meditative Expertise. PLOS ONE, 3(3), e1897.https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0001897
- How To Practise Loving-Kindness Meditation - https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-practice-loving-kindness-meditation-3144786
- Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation: Potential for Psychological Interventions - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735811001115?via%3Dihub
- The Effect of Loving-Kindness Meditation on Positive Emotions - https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01693/full
- Loving-Kindness Meditation - https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/loving_kindness_meditation
- This Loving-Kindness Meditation Is a Radical Act of Love - https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/