Staying Sober At Christmas Parties
With the festive season upon us, you may be worried about staying sober and still being able to have fun at parties. Let us reassure you, not drinking alcohol doesn't equal boring.
In fact, for those of us that suffer from an alcohol use disorder, sobriety means freedom. It also means we can remember events and be present.
If you're new to recovery or have just suffered a setback, attending a Christmas party can be a daunting prospect. Traditionally, Christmas is a time of excess, especially when it comes to alcohol and food. It is natural to be apprehensive if this is your first sober Christmas, or even your second or third. Because of this, we have compiled our top tips to help you stay sober through the festive party season. This should help you to make a useful plan.
A plan for staying sober at Christmas parties
We hope that the following practical tips will help you to protect your recovery, stay sober and have fun over Christmas. Staying sober isn't always easy, as we know, and Christmas can be a big test. However, it doesn't mean you need to feel left out, not if you don't want to. Everyone has their way of dealing with Christmas. The stress leading up to the big day can get the better of anyone. Preparing a plan can help you to stay focused, sober and safe.
Always put your sobriety first
It takes hard work and commitment to get and stay sober, yet at Christmas time it may seem like everyone is drinking except for you. The truth is, that many people, for their own individual reasons choose not to drink these days. The important thing for you is to remember why you cannot drink and this means always putting your sobriety first. If you are newly sober, it is wise to make a plan. A plan that will help you should you feel tempted.
Take your own drinks and glass
This may seem unnecessary when there is a bar at a Christmas party, but it's a safer bet. For some people, even going up to a bar can prove triggering. Hence we suggest taking your favourite soft drinks and a glass or cup that is clearly recognisable to you. This will ensure that you don't have to sniff every drink before you put it in your mouth. You will know that your glass is yours and it will be easier to keep an eye on it. If you prefer coffee or tea, take your own flask. Take with you whatever it is that you usually enjoy drinking.
Staying sober by staying close to sober people
As previously touched on, it's highly unlikely you will be the only sober person at a Christmas party. Look out for other non-drinkers and have a conversation with them, rather than talking to people who are getting drunker as the night wears on. Many people stay sober at parties because they have to drive home, because they don't enjoy alcohol, or because they take medication that alcohol interacts with. These people can help you in staying sober yourself. You may well find that they also feel a little left out, together you can enjoy food and conversation. You might even want to disclose to them that you're in recovery, most people will be very supportive of this.
Have a response ready
If you’re not ready to tell people at a works Christmas or family party that you’re in recovery from alcoholism, have a response ready in case you are asked why you are not drinking. Some people find dealing with this easier than others. In reality, you do not owe anyone an explanation, a simple ‘no thankyou’ should suffice. However, as the night wears on, this can be a question that comes up more frequently, especially if you were previously seen to be a big drinker. Telling someone you are driving or on medication and can't drink, is usually enough to stop further questions. However, if someone is persistent, move away from them and sit with someone else.
Stay vigilant
Staying vigilant can help you in staying sober. This works in two parts. You will need to be vigilant of your surroundings and of your internal state. Keeping a watchful eye on your drink is always a good thing and goes back to having your own glass. Many people recovering from alcoholism also avoid any food that may contain alcohol in it. This means making smart choices around the food you order and eat. If you are at all unsure, you can always check with the restaurant staff for their recommendations.
Just as important, if not more, is remaining vigilant of your own internal state and the narrative playing out in your mind. If you are feeling uncomfortable and uneasy with having so much alcohol around you, it is time to leave and call a sponsor or sober friend. You will need to be prepared to do whatever it takes in staying sober. Few people will even recall you leaving early. If they do you can excuse yourself by saying you were not feeling well or needed to get home for whatever reason.
Enjoy the music and atmosphere
Although Christmas may always have been about how much you could drink without having to justify it to others. It is not like this for most people. Most people enjoy the social aspect of Christmas and connecting with others. It is also a great time to let your hair down and take in the atmosphere. If you enjoy dancing, being sober shouldn't stop you. You may feel a little awkward at first but this soon wears off. Dance like no one is watching, as in reality, most people are too concerned with their own dance moves to watch others. If dancing isn't your thing, just stay for the meal and enjoy the food. Remember there is no hard and fast rule here, you should only stay for as long as you are comfortable. You can also always take a walk around the grounds if you feel like you need to clear your head or take a break. Perhaps call another person in recovery whilst you are at it. You will not be the only person in this position facing the challenges that come with sober partying.
Have a get-out plan
If the thought of attending a boozy Christmas work party is too much, simply don't go. Many people find that they are hard-pressed for free time at this time of year, or have other places and things they would rather go and do. Christmas is a relatively short period of time. The office gossip after the party will also be short-lived. You can also be grateful that you are not the one they are talking about (for a change). If you are worried about sitting at home and feeling left out, go to a recovery meeting or link up with a sober friend or family member. Make your own plans around a sober activity that you enjoy. This will not only help with staying sober but will provide a great distraction that is enjoyable.
Communication is key to staying sober over Christmas
Having a person you trust and who understands you is invaluable in recovery from addiction. This may be in the form of a sponsor, mentor or therapist. Talk to these people about your concerns. Don't pretend everything is alright if it isn't.
Christmas can be a hard time for many people and connecting with like-minded others through our free community will confirm that you are not alone in your struggles.
Many recovery communities also organise their own sober parties at this time of year. These parties offer a safe alternative to anyone who wants to celebrate Christmas but doesn't want to risk their sobriety.
If you feel alone this Christmas, you don't have to be. There are plenty of people like you who attend recovery meetings over the Christmas period. Reach out to others and see how you can make their Christmas better. In doing so you should find yourself enjoying a safe and sober christmas.